Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
