i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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