FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
