Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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