There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
