smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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