He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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