how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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