you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
