Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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