girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
