he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
being pregnant is like rehab
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
