woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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