i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
