Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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