he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We just shotgunned beers for America
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
