I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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