Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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