If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
