Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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