i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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