Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
