and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
