Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
