laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
