You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
