Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
