yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
