Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
