my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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