the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
