she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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