would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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