thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
