He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
