Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
