I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
