idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
