I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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