U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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