New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
