like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
