i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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