I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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