Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm sobbing to NWA
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
