I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
