I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
