I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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