do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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