I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
