i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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