i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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