Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
