i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
