And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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