I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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