just tell him i said nine months
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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