At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
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I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.