i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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