Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd