Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
