I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.