I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
