I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???