This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
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I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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Oh.
You came to the right person.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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