Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
